Monday, February 15, 2010

Valentines Day

so valentines day has come and gone again...and one thing that hit me today and has been hitting me like weeks before this is that i need a girl hahaha this rele doesnt have anything to do with anything that happened today but the idea of valentines day got me thinkin again, i just keep finding my self just longing and longing for these emotions, thats right u heard me right im not talking about sex at all here... usually i could def just say i need a girl because i wanna have sex so bad, but this is completely different lately, all i long for from a girl is comfort, affection, some one to always count on,lately i just cant stand being alone, i just dont wanna be alone anymore i get rele sad, and i straight up am constantly lusting for emotions! i just want someone to hold, some one to tell "i love you" , and to finally have a girl that actually fully loves me back, i dream about what that will be like cause i have never had it, not 1 girl has ever fully loved me, its gotta be the best feeling ever and speaking of things i've never had...i have never hand any of this, never had anyone to cuddle with and feel secure with them in my arms, never and it hurts, it is one of the greatest longings of my heart, and lately i just dont feel like waiting for this anymore , i pretty much need it now, the problem is i cant find THE girl. and i mean of course after all this i still want to get some sexin 2 but seriously what im getting at right here blows sex away! i just gotta pray that God will send me this perfect girl that satisfies all these emotional needs that i have right now haha i know i sound like such a girl right now but, its legit, i cant get these thoughts out of my head, i have become a love/emotion whore and i need it....anyways besides that i went to universal parks today with heather joseph, benny vicky, max joanna , and amy was my valentine! my very 1st real valentine ever! idk if she knew that but she was, and a pretty darn good one at that lol we had a bunch of fun , i went on my 1st roller coaster ever!!! then i ended up goin on a ton more! but the hulk , the mummy, spiderman and this new roller coaster at universal , i think it was called the rocket, where the best rides, especially that last one! spent a lot of money but it was all worth it, went on a couple water rides which was a terrible idea because it was freezing out sooooo in the long run i ended up completely loosing my voice and pretty much getting sick all over again, the main problem was i only got 4 hours of sleep last night then put my body through hell all day lol what a mess haha ,anyway it was a rele successful v-day, and the new universal roller coaster was so sick, in fact it was so crazy that still at this very moment when i sit down i feel like im moving back and forth, wait till i lay down to sleep, im gonna be goin down crazy roller coaster drops in my dreams haha but yea great day , i wish i had my love and i hope u all do to.
peace and love

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