I Do Not Exist

.................................im not safe right now, i am nothin, i am a failure, i am alone, i am broken, i am insane, i'm late for soccer, i wanna cry, i have nothin, i love my friends and family but they just arent enough, i love jesus and i know he gives me his peace and joy but after that i go back to feeling this !@#%#%, i need a girl to love, i need to show love, but i am nothing, i have no future, i am a reject to this world and rightfully so but thats hard enough, i need someone to be here with me, a partner, but as of right now i walk alone, through church ,at work, at home, im alone,whyyyyyyyyyy, and when i walk alone i feel like i dont exist,like no one sees me,like no one would care if i just disappeared ,like im missing my other half, i need a woman that cares about me, f@%!**ing sundays, i have a work meeting today, my last work meeting was on a sunday, and rightfully so on that very same day i felt worse then today, i was rejected, like i am rejected today, i am a reject, and now today i will be goin to another work meeting feeling like i wanna cry my lungs out, i'm grumpy , i am irritable because i am depressed, i feel like i'm gonna just blow up on someone for no reason, or just breakdown,i am a mess, i am not okay, and i am delusional, but one day i will scratch this entire post out because i will be something, with God as my witness and as the master of my life, He will make something out of my life, these attacks from the devil dont have a hold on me, one day even if its all the way in heaven, i will get my reward...right now all i can ask for is just for a women that i can love, to love me amen- peace and love