....

Fuck...

Let God Be Glorified

i'm so alone right now...and its not just about being lonely, i'm alone in how i think, im alone in how i feel , how i view sooo much, and i'm just loney cause i dont have someone to be with, sure i want a girlfriend right now but at the same time is it rele my time for that, what a distraction she would be, ur world starts to revolve around her instead of sooo much more....the crazy part rele is i choose to live this way...i could be like everyone else, but i am not everyone else! "could " is the key word, honestly my heart, my very spirit wouldn't let me be like everyone else, it wont! and in that i find a little bit of comfort, but at the same time i pray to God that He'd let this cup pass from me lol...but then i hear somethin tellin me i still have so much to for u learn, for u to do...He asks are u not already glorifying me in what u are doing? and this comforts me again, i just dont know how much more suffering i can take...but He does, He made me this way made me able to endure for His name, gave me so much patience and i just praise him for that, and i know He wont ever let me take on somethin i cant handle, that junk is in the bible...so for now i keep living this way keep praying for Him to give me what i need, keep praising His name, keep suffering, keep glorifying Him in everything i say and do, keep being alone until He finds me ready- Matteo

I love this weather!

wow so i completely forgot i had one of these for a few weeks lol....i guess that might happen from time to time, but anyway i gotta start this post off with the best news ever! ITALIA QUALIFIED FOR THE 2010 FIFA WORLD CUP LAST WEEKEND! and in style too they tied ireland 2-2 to clinch a spot in south Africa, and then played an awesome last qualifying game against Cyprus and won 3-2 siiiiick! i celebrated all last weekend! sooo happy about that!...the u.s.a has also qualified just incase u were wondering lol

as for club soccer today a.c. Milan won their game 2-1 but they played and have been playing soooo bad and i've had enough, i want the coach fired!!!! and in January i want a bunch of new players!

oh and about all my other posts so far on this thing i think u'll be happy to know that I'm so over it lol and the Lords joy has made me such a happy man!

well anyway i'm sooo tired right now and trying to get this all out asap so i can sleep....but today was seriously 1 of the best Sundays i have ever had!
it started with the weather! last night it got cold outside in October in Florida?! so random but soooo amazing and it was cold all day today, the day started with a great church service, and an even better lunch/quality bonding time with benny, matt, and micheal...which was honestly my favorite part of today, after that i went home and did some sunday relaxing while watching that a.c.milan game i was just talkin about...sooon after i went to bennys and me benny, joseph, heather, johnny,jessenia, and matt played a great and crazy hyper singing game of dominos outside in the beautiful cold weather! it was soo fun! and that we all went out to dinner to the super buffet(Chinese buffet) which was wayyy better then i expected and way more expensive then i expected 2 lol but still a great way to pretty much end the night, vicky and amy met up with us and we tried to finish our dominos game from before but everyone was tired...johnny ended up taking the win for the day lol...

so know i'm sitting in my cold room, about to read some awesome deadpool comics which i'm gonna elaborate about in a whole nother post sometime soon lol basically 'pool is awesome!

well thats about it hopefully i'll be back on here soon ttyl
peace and love-Matteo

When Keepin It Real Goes Wrong

uh hallo um yuh yo soooo i been crushin hard on dis one chiick for lika good month an'a halph now ,u kno, an' it was straight fo a while, i was jus usin all my swagga, milkin it, u know doin what it does, and she be respondin all like she wanna @#@% ^%$#@ fo real, an' right lika week before i was bout to make a serious move on dat, she pull a crazy thing and goes an' tells me she be "talking" (all white like)......to some other nigga??!? and i was jus like fuhhhhhh dat dawug, i mean here i am think bout, think bout, jus gettin it done right and she off pullin da moves on some "hardcore" nigga......! fuh nigga imma hardcore nigga, and dis nigga don't even kno about what hardcore be about, not to mention dis nigga thinks he can just text me and tell me to slow my role, and i'm just like maaaaaan if i wasn't a good christian man, dis nigga be eatin dirt, tryin to act all hard while in da meantime im jus feelin like imabouta busta cap in dis nigga's @%!^!...but like the G (gentelman) that i am, i was jus like be cool man,dis chick says she "talking" wit u, not me, and dis messed up $@!% %@#$% still goes at me after dat, so i dun zicked my crazy #@%#@ sista on da nigga, shut him up quick, but den acktually on da inside i still been torn up, an' i get to thinkin wait a minute... dey aint even official?!whats takin dis toolbox white boy so long to get wit dis chick, an' den im like an' why the fuhhhh am i frontin fo, i might as well go out like a G (gangsta) and fight fo this chick right quick, i mean dis chick is a dime piece fo real, got dees blue eyes make a player pass out right quick, she like god's gift to earph like in the realest dawg!....an' den im thinkin yo....dat nigga she tryin to get with is one of the uglyest niggas i ever done seen! tryin to act all hard growin some weak !$@$ beard like for real i got mo hair on one of my !$!%!....like $&@# man dis is sum phsyco kinda messed up junk right here on da real, so imma prolly get turned down again an' it prolly aint worth all dis but idk i'm tired of bein alone, i'm all lonely all da time fo real, and fo real i think she worth it, i mean i barely kno da chick, but it jus aint right she worth lika milli times mo den what dat cracker @$#@$!% is givin, i mean i fogive dat nigga even tho he treated me so bad but still she deserve betta, an' its not like dey gonna be foevea, u dont get to 20 fo nothin, all dat highschoo luv mess always falls through, dats da main problem wit dis whoe thing, its dat i be breakin one of my most important rules and dats, don't get caught up wit a baby #@$% , cause when dey too young u get all dis drama fuhhh dauwg...yo funny thing is dat nigga is 20 too, he don't act like it tho, he straight trippin,all day everyday, bet u money i can hardcore dance 10 times better then that fake @%# hardcore @^%%! an' i dont even like dat hardcore !%!%$, i hate dat acktually, yuh hate it fo real....maaan tell u what tho she done played a player nasty, straight turned me inside out but ight dats enough of dis, imma peace out an' yo pray for a nigga, me and dat other one cause u know da most important thing in dis is da good Lord, no joke
ight peace an' luv.....

but seriously i just gotta ask why? why do sooooo many girls like bad boys, the tuff, cocky, tool boys that always end up bein garbage i mean on the inside i'm sure they are cool guys but really girls most of them are just terrible, what about boys like me, im not the badest or the tuffest, i dont wanna get in fights and all that cool stuff, im not a fighter, im a lover...the romantic, the one who wants to just live righteous, not the opposite, crazy chicks lol they all seem to learn the hard way 2....o well im done for real now, ttyl world- Matteo

Matteo Petrone:A Hero At Last?

i don't know how such a terrible day becomes a beautiful night, the full moon tonight lights up the sky and my soul,it is truly a creation that shows all of God's glory! you know i thought about a lot 2 day and even tho it was probably the 2nd worst Sunday of my life...i saw God working through me, through it all and then i just forget about all the horrible feelings and just have a good laugh, the truth is, if i was anyone in the bible i'd have to say i'd be similar 2 Job, because my whole life i've trusted and worshipped God, ask for many things, that i've never been given, mainly love...and there are so many times where just for a second i was scream out why God, why do i have to endure so much suffering, and then i stop thinkin about me and i think about Him and i think about what i am doin is righteous and then i fall in love with God all over again haha and he always knows how to bring me back, i still hope 1 day like job i will get my family and my livestock and my farm back....but even if i don't ever get that i'll know i pleased God with this 1 life he's given me, and WHAT EVEN IS THIS LIFE IF WE AREN'T TRULY LIVING FOR GOD! you know even if i don't get all these things that are constantly on my heart , i may be 1 of the most miserable ppl u will ever meet but, i will never ever reject my God, because in all the pain and suffering i find my strength in Him and only Him, and i thank Him soooo much for his mercy and power to mend and save! right now i feel like dirt, like the lowest, most naked and alone feeling u can have but the 1 and only thing i have is Him...and u know what He's all i need haha and idk what else to say other then pray for peace to come over me and love to find me

btw my title is a Deadpool reference, because when i saw that title on the cover of his book i thought of my day and the man that i am myself and how me and deadpool are also very alike hahaha
i honestly don't know how to feel right now, but i do know who to trust in!
hope u all had a great day and have a great week ...oh and don't forget to check out that beautiful full moon, i think it's only gonna be out 1 more night!
peace and love- Matteo

October 1, 2009...the month of change in 09/my 1st blogger post

halloooo everybody!!! this is my 1st officially post on my new blog! behind the scenes i have been workin on this blog for a little while now, and i still have things to do on here such as a blog description, but i'll give u a little preview in this post. pretty much this blog is the raw, real matteo, every time i feel like letting everything in my heart and mind out, there is a good chance it will be on here, this blog is what blogs were rele made for. as for grammar and punctuation ur gonna have to get used to my hugeeeeee sentences and bad internet lingo cause i don't care about that stuff. sometimes i will go back over what i've typed and fix some stuff but not much..as u can see i can type a whole lot. sorry.thank God for spell check tho lol...anyway i picked today October 1st to start this blog, (even tho i know technically i'm into oct. 2nd already, gayyy) because with this new month starting i'm also starting other new things in my life ,and most importantly just getting my life all straightened out...so here is to October 1st and to all the new changes in my life ,i dub thy October as the month of change for 2009. so as u know already in this blog i will be posting about everything that's on my heart when ever i feel like posting...aaaand i will probably also be posting either every day ,about my day, or every week , about my week....so u will be pretty caught up on my life ,if i end up being committed to this thing. and basically with me when i start a new thought or "subject" i will space it out....

....like so, maybe 1, maybe 2 spaces...dang i can see a lot of this post already goin into my blog description...

so anyway had a nice day today...i got up at 11 watched juventus! v.s. bayren munich, great game even tho it ended 0-0...read old deadpool from like 1998 soooooooooooo good , but 'll get into that in another post...then i went to my neighbor's (who is currently in portugal) pool, it was extremely refreshing...after that i went to go get a sharp haircut, even tho i hate it cause its all gonna grow back in like a week...then i watched some of the most hilarious office and community on tv sooo funny and last but not least i met up with benny and we took a late night trip to wal-mart to get metal gear solid 4 for the ps3 , and he gave me all the new comics that came out! and now I'm on here and about to read some of those comics after this...

so yea my post will go something like that...i hope u all will enjoy, and be ready to hear things that u'd never think of hearing from me cause to me this blog is me, this is as real as it gets, this is the inside scoop on matteo, so if u don't like what u read, don't read it. and that is all i rele got for tonight so i'm gonna keep it classy and close out with my famous...
peace and love- matteo