Monday, July 26, 2010

i cant breathe

my girlfriend just officially broke up with me, so here i am alone again, i dont know what to say or do, my 1st girlfriend ever , i did my share of wrong doing but rele all i did was like her 2 much, which of course leaves me here on this blog from hell, this place where i can just hurt in my depression, i cant believe i wont ever be able to hold her again, she was the 1st girl whose hand i' ever held, her feet were so beautiful, nothin in my entire life has felt more wrong,NOTHING! God i want her so bad, everything reminds me of her, everything! so down i just have nothing left to say my entire life force has been sucked out of me, i could just keep typing and all i feel is hurt with every letter, i dont know how to explain this, i dont know how to handle this i dont know how to get this out, i just want her back, i need her, my God i just wanna cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry but my eyes have cried so much already that i almost cant anymore, they just tear now and hurt so bad , my gosh what a failure, i failed the most beautiful woman on the face of this earth, and my dumb sister and my dumb friends, so quick to judge when they dont even know whats goin on, they should feel bad for tellin me hey u should go for that girl, ahhhhhhh!AASGSSGHEAHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE TELL ME WHY???!@!!!
there is no reason, this is just a wrong decision, i found her in God, i loved her in God i tried to fix everything in God, i know HE is a part of this! God why cant i just have someone to love, i cant believe even the girl i evetually go out with, doesnt even like me, no girl i like has ever liked me back, life is crazy, i kinda just wanna stop , i cant feel right now, i am totally empty and broken omg i just spent an hour crying on my floor crying out to god, i have no one to hold me not my parents who are sleeping not my friends cause they are all guys, the only girl i'd cry to doesnt want anything to do with me so im rolling around on my floor shaking and crying and drooling oh God help me.....................

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